The Most Important Skill in Life

I believe personal ownership is the most important skill for any single human being to learn in life. I define personal ownership as controlling one’s actions, beliefs, and overall direction in life.

Why is personal ownership the most important skill? I also believe that the greatest temptation in life is to blame something or someone, outside of ourselves, when dealing with a situation that requires us to change ourselves in some way. Change of any kind is the hardest thing we do in life as change is often associated with adversity. However, if we are willing to resist the temptation to blame and take ownership by engaging the adversity associated with change, then I think we can experience our deepest desires in life: a sense of meaning and personal freedom.

I’ve navigated some difficult situations in my lifetime: overcoming obesity, getting an engineering degree, getting out of debt, serving in combat etc. I don’t claim to be a guru or have all the answers to life’s problems but in my experience the navigation of turbulent situations in order to find peace has always been marked by exercising personal ownership. With personal reflection and time spent trying to convey this idea of personal ownership to others, I’ve landed on three principles that I believe must be observed in order to practice Personal Ownership:

• Action over Time — If it’s worth having, it’s worth fighting for…We don’t control time. We can’t rewind time, fast forward it, pause it, or stop it. However, we can control our focus and how we use our energy relative to time. We can control our actions. Any meaningful goal in life will most likely take a relatively long period of time to accomplish. With significant time comes both adversity and opportunity. The key is to continue to act in the face of adversity so that we are able to reach the opportunity.
• Understand your Story — Actions are based on beliefs, even when those beliefs are unknown… I define the word ‘story’ as facts weaved together by beliefs/assumptions into a coherent narrative. I believe every human being has unconscious beliefs about how life works. The challenge is learning to recognize when our actions are leading us away from our true desires and doing the work to identify the underlying beliefs/assumptions that led us to taking those actions.
• Maintain a Vision — The process is more important than the products… I define a ‘vision’ as a set of long term goals an individual has for the future. A vision is characterized by being bold, realistic, and holistic. A bold vision forces one to examine themselves regularly. A realistic vision explores the risks associated with pursuing our goals. A holistic vision tries to account for the totality of life. These 3 characteristics produce a process of personal refinement and self-direction that I believe is more important than achieving the goals themselves.

I believe that practicing these 3 principles with time will help us find meaning and experience more personal freedom even as we face life’s most difficult challenges. Life is hard. I hope that these ideas and my story convey to you that We can be harder.

This is the introduction to a series of posts on the topic of ownership. Through my writing I’ll share more of my story which will reveal how I’ve come to these conclusions. Follow me to stay up to date as I publish new content.